Shake hands with...
Shake Hands with Your Shadow
We’ve all felt it - envy bubbling up when someone else shines, the sting of rejection, or the rage that seems to catch us off guard. These emotions can feel heavy, messy & certainly even shameful.
These are feelings we’ve been told to hide or not to admit to & to push it down.
Debbie Ford describes this as The Beach Ball Effect - consider the effort needed to hold and push a beach-ball down under the water only for it to surge up when you least expect it.
So with that there is the effort in pushing it down (shame) coupled with the inevitable emergence of a shameful emotion. It’s tough.
But what if, instead of hiding them, you extended your hand and said: “Welcome. Teach me what I need to know.”
Because the truth is, these emotions are rarely about the other person. The friend whose success stirs your envy, the partner whose words leave you feeling rejected, the colleague whose actions ignite your rage, they are simply mirrors.
What they reflect is the way you feel inside.
Envy might whisper to you about the dreams you’ve placed on hold. Rejection might point to the places where your self-worth still wavers. Rage might uncover the boundaries you’ve long ignored.
Rather than being your downfall, these emotions can be your greatest teachers. They invite you into the shadow, the part of you that longs to be seen, held, and healed.
This isn’t easy work. Meeting your shadow requires courage & it’s often named the Warrior’s Path as it does take true courage to face the sides of yourself that you may well feel embarrassed about.
But each time you pause and get curious about what’s really underneath the feeling, you peel back another layer. You step closer to wholeness.
So the next time envy, rejection, or rage rises, don’t run. Instead, shake its hand. Ask: “What are you here to show me?”
You may just find that what once felt like your weakness becomes the gateway to your deepest strength. Believe me, this path leads to wholeness & a level of deep self love & acceptance.
If you’d like to explore this with me, get in touch & let’s sort a time out that suits you.
